This utterly captivated me. Such a gentle but powerful rendition of the theme of this season, by Sting. So different, yet so familiar and comforting. How unique to use a muted trumpet (among other things), though we associate the angel Gabriel as the bringer of great announcements and with a trumpet.
Enjoy and be blessed.
"What are these things?" I asked, looking at a small pile of different capsules and tablets next to my plate. I'd just come into the kitchen for breakfast with friends where I'd stayed overnight after working late at the University library, and they'd graciously suggested I stay at their home rather than make the long drive back to the city where my apartment was. "Oh, just supplements", they answered. Another friend who also was there said that with my hit-or-miss style of grabbing meals, this would be the best way of survival and they all heartily endorsed them. A blend of natural Vitamin C and a few other basics were in the mix….and to this day they're still part of my breakfast routine. Just before swallowing them down with my orange drink each morning, holding them in my hand I give a quick prayer of thanksgiving for these friends, hoping they are well.
If I've ever made coffee for you, you've heard the whir of the grinder and seen me pour powdered beans into what might look like an odd contraption. Years ago friends in New York taught me to make coffee by boiling water and pouring it over ground coffee in a Melita coffee maker – a manual filter system with a plastic cone shaped thing holding a filter with coffee into which the water is poured and then drips down into a glass carafe. Back then it was Melita coffee from the can, but other friends later introduced me to the delicious wonder of keeping whole beans in the freezer until you're ready to freshly grind them for each batch of coffee you make.
Comparable to my routine of a quick prayer of warm and grateful remembrance and good thoughts when I take my vitamins, I do a similar thing when I'm by myself in the quiet of the kitchen making coffee. See, the manual Melita system means taking time to gradually pour the hot water in stages over the ground coffee while it drips down into the carafe below. It's actually a gently meditative ritual involving all your senses. The sound of the beans being ground, the fabulous aroma of the coffee in the filter as the hot water works its magic in making something deliciously reviving of both body and spirit, and the lyrical sound of the water as it makes its way through the filter into the carafe. Additionally it requires watching to make sure you don't either under or over fill the carafe for the perfect strength of coffee you desire. While I'm making coffee I use some of this time to not only observe the morning's beauty through the kitchen window and think about my day ahead, but to also offer a quick prayer for the friends who taught me this wonderful method of making the coffee itself.
These are just two stories about how so many of the little things, as well as very large and significant ones, learned from people who've been in our lives are the things which shape who and how we are. Over time, hopefully we've weeded out the things which haven't been helpful and cherish the ones which have literally become part of us and even how we live and think. Perhaps because I'm looking at a "significant" birthday quite soon, I've been recently giving more thought to the compendium of people who've had a large role in the design of who and how I am and think, my habits and so many things I value. I'm glad I haven't waited until now to "give thanks" for them and that it's been a longtime habit to quickly include them among my daily prayerful thoughts.
And friends, while each day is a gift and each birthday is significant, I now have a better understanding of the concept invented by the late Jack Benny of "turning 39" each year. It's not that I don't want to age (the alternative is far less attractive), but I believe there is tremendous value in being "ageless". As a counselor I marveled that clients both much younger as well as those much older than I was related with me almost as peers. Not as "pals" as the whole purpose was objectivity and counseling skills. But "agelessness" to me means not clinging to some caricature of early youth or staying frozen in time. Far from it! It means embracing a larger view which is enriched by wisdom, and values continual self-evolution, learning, and deepening growth into the future.
As we move toward the holiday of Thanksgiving, why not consider this concept of incorporating a daily active attitude of *thanksgiving* and ask God to bring to your mind the people for whom you are grateful for the elements of your life you've kept as parts of who you are and how you think, values you have, and healthy habits you've learned. If this is a new idea to you, it would be a happy exercise to write down the names of those as you recall them and the things they passed on to you. Certain teachers and mentors, friends and family members who've enhanced who you are, and even those with whom you didn't have but a passing acquaintance if what they shared made a meaningful mark on your life. You'll also think of small things which make you smile yet are still habits which are part of your life. For me, for instance, the person from whom I learned to wrap the "string" of my tea bag around my spoon to gracefully squeeze the last drops into the cup without making a mess or using my fingers.
In addition to developing an attitude of thanksgiving, wouldn't it be a marvelous thing to share this concept with your family and have them list people for whom they are thankful and why. Blessings to you all who continue to shape my life!
1. Do you like blue cheese? Is there a word stronger than NO?
2. Have you ever been drunk? Once. I did not know there was vodka in the Hawaiian punch at the fraternity party. For me, more than a little alcohol = dizzy = sick. Not my idea of fun. A little alcohol if it's tastey is OK, too much -- no way.
3. Do you own a gun? Yes. No further comment.
4. What flavor of Kool Aid is your favorite? The one that tastes like Hawaiian Punch (sweetened with Splenda)
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Not consciously. Too busy trying to get everything important ready to talk about in the 4 ½ minutes I might have with the doc. But still my BP is elevated at the visit. Probably due to the pressure of getting ready to launch into what's important to cover at the visit!
6. What do you think of hot dogs? Oh man. I'm glad I never went to the places where they're made! Unless it's turkey or chicken hot dogs, I don't eat them. Used to only eat Hebrew National with hope. Since I don't eat beef, no more.
7. Favorite Christmas movie? Although it's not totally a "Christmas movie", I always like to watch "Auntie Mame" when writing Christmas cards or decorating the house (the song "We Need a Little Christmas" is from this movie)…enjoy the story and the Auntie Mame character.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? It has to be coffee…black, no sweetener. And some more coffee.
9. Can you do push ups? In theory, yes. Used to definitely. And when I give it a shot, always still can…a few.
10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? My wedding ring, especially remembering what's engraved inside it. Never leaves my hand.
11. Favorite hobby? Music.
12. Do you have A.D.D. ? No. Other things, yes, but not A.D.D.
13. What's your favorite shoes? For a woman this is a REALLY hard question to narrow down. Though I don't get to wear them often, they'd be a pair of black heels I have with bows on them and pink lining. Love those shoes.
14. Middle name? Corser. It's my mother's maiden name. It was the one "mystery" I kept from my high school students when I was teaching. Since I wouldn't disclose it, drove them nuts. But everybody needs a LITTLE mystery!
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? This is a hard quiz, it's late and we haven't had dinner yet, and too many more to name. I'm a woman. We think a ton of things at the same time. Think of a 32 staff orchestral score and you'd be close. They're not necessarily profound thoughts of course, but still…lots.
16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Coffee, Espresso Coffee (also black/no sweetener), Diet Ginger Ale
17. Current worry? I try not to worry. If/when I do, too many to list.
18. Current hate right now? None. Challenges, yes, hates….nope.
20. How did you bring in the New Year? At home with my husband, champagne, watched the NY New Year's Eve thing. Some might think boring, but it was nice.
21. Where would you like to go? Wow…that should be more like where would I NOT like to go (and there would be some places on that list). But within reason, the ocean and I do love Bermuda.
22. Name three people who will complete this? No idea. I got this from Walt.
23. an unusual food you tried? Escargot (enjoy but pretty rich with all that butter) Caviar….really like this on a slice of French bread, little cream cheese, the caviar and squeeze of lemon juice….oh yum! Needn't be Beluga, the black Icelandic Lump Fish caviar is fine with me. Don't care for the large red caviar though.
24. What color shirt are you wearing right now? Sort of lavender.
25. Do you like sleeping on Satin sheets? Yes. First had them when we had a water bed. Hooked. Very nice. Even the dog and cats like them.
26. Can you whistle? A little, but pretty lame at it.
27. Favorite color? Blue.
28. Would you be a pirate? No…not so much.
29. What songs do you sing in the shower? Nothing regular…often a gospel tune or a spiritual…or whatever I've been working on recently.
30. Favorite Girl's Name? Oh this is just too hard! I have no idea! The names which come to mind are the names of my women friends!
31. Favorite boy's name? That would be the same as my answer for #30…except names of my male friends.
32. What's in your pocket right now? Hm…a Kleenex and prayer beads.
33. Last thing that made you laugh? One of our cats deliriously happy lying in the sun in our bedroom window. She turned her head and blinked at me looking really loopy with joy.
34. Best memories as a child? Not such a terrific question. I think it would be practicing the wonderful pipe organ by myself in the church where I regularly practiced and played. Started piano and organ really quite young, so it would qualify as childhood memory.
35. Worst injury you've ever had as a child? Lost both "little" toenails from injury sustained riding my bike barefoot. They never grew back.
36. Do you love where you live? I like it. I don't think I've ever "loved" the place where I lived. Always liked things about those places, but love? Except I did love living in New York City. Idyllic time with no responsibilities in a beautiful place and oh the music, musicians, art and learning….and the FOOD. And I do LOVE the monastery where I've gone on many retreats…need to schedule one soon. Been too long!
38. Who is your loudest friend? This made me laugh! I don't believe I have any really "loud" friends at this time.
39. How many dogs do you have? One…West Highland Terrier…female, named Daisy.
40. Does someone have a crush on you? Other than my husband? I'm thinking no.
41. What is your favorite book? Usually one I'm reading at the moment! Right now it's "A Heart Like Jesus" by Max Lucado. I did love the "Mitford" series by Jan Karon. And I've been thinking of re-reading "The Name of the Rose" by Umberto Ecco on our vacation, in addition to a pile of other books I'm bringing.
42. What is your favorite candy? Marzipan….definitely. I mean chocolate is a given, but marzipan….divine.
43. Favorite Sports Team? Not such a big watcher of sports. When any of the Boston teams are winning at the end of their series, I do keenly watch then (Red Socks, Celtics, Patriots and Bruins). The UNH Hockey team has a special place in my heart, though. Went to lots of games when I was a student. Still follow their scores.
44. What is your favorite food at your favorite restaurant? I don't have an actual favorite. There are many I really enjoy with foods from many cultures. But I have to say, it truly pained me when they closed the Russian Tea Room in New York City. Oh the food….and the violinist…he could play anything. But oh the food. EVERYTHING on their menu.
45. What song do you want played at your funeral? I have no idea. I won't "be" there…have played so many funerals, I don't know. But if there was a ton of money to pay for a marvelous choir, it would be Gregorio Allegri's "Miserere mei, Deus". Simply amazing. Like angels singing. Whew! Done! Now, it's your turn! It really was kinda fun :-)
Terms such as "crisis management", "triage" and "911" used to refer to the exception rather than the rule, the emergencies and the imminent threat to life being separated from the usual and customary of day-to-day living. Are those words part of your everyday lifestyle vocabulary? Perhaps not the exact words, but the feeling?
For some time now, psychologists have been studying something called "flow". You know, as in "go with the flow". This term describes the feeling of being one with something going well or times of feeling both in control and relaxed simultaneously. Stop for a moment and think about when you feel this way, or when the last time was when you felt like this.
People who are able to identify this sensation recall they come the closest to it in moments while driving on a highway in smoothly paced traffic without delays. Other times of feeling "flow" are experienced by people singing in a choir or swiftly and easily doing something mundane like stuffing envelopes. Despite the seeming disparity of these things, they all have the same thing in common: the awareness of what it feels like to do something with ease.
The keyword here is not so much "ease", but "awareness". This is good news due to the demands on our time which require us to manage several things at once, making the concept of "ease" seem insurmountable.
When do people least feel "flow"? If you guessed it's during their vacation, you were correct. In addition to awareness, the other necessary component here is something which is learned. Although it seems odd, we just don't learn how to relax!
At this time of year when the back-to-school commercials prompt us that summer is coming to a close, we often feel wistful and sad that another golden season has passed us by. Once again it feels too late to capture a little something for ourselves. If we had the time, how would we learn that awareness of being in the moment? How could we then know when we have that "ease"?
This peaceful quality can be learned by making small but decisive changes one little bit at a time. Here are some ideas to consider in making this happen for yourself:
1.)Choose a verse or inspiring phrase that sets the tone for the changes you want to implement and start every day with it. An example might be, "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24)
2.)When the telephone rings, let it be a signal for you to stop and take a breath instead of instantly lunging to grab the receiver. Remind yourself of the verse you've chosen.
3.)Make a commitment to take an amount of time every day in which you will be peaceful. Really. If this is only three minutes to start, be diligent in taking the full three minutes each and every day. Think of something that you enjoy. Read that scripture you've been saying you want to start. Remember: just small pieces of time to begin with instead of trying to do too much and being overwhelmed or sabotaging your intentions before you really get into it.
4.)Take a "prayer break". Stand up and walk a bit, (even if it's just to the rest room or to get a drink of water) while lifting your mind for a few moments from the tedium of whatever you're working on.
5.)Instead of becoming tense when the light ahead of you turns red, use this as an unexpected moment to take a slow deep breath and roll your shoulders to UN-tense.
6.)If you usually have the radio on at work, home, or when you drive, try turning it off once and a while and become re-acquainted with the relief and beauty of silence.
Remember that your life didn't become as hectic as it feels in one fast leap, and that the pathway toward calmness and peace is made of many little steps toward that goal. Instead of bracing yourself for the crises which will inevitably occur, why not enjoy the time in between them! That old phrase, "Go with the flow" can be achieved by looking for the pleasant surprises that are there… just waiting to be noticed. This September, why not learn to Go with the Flow! Not only will you actually become more productive, but you'll have the awareness to discover more of the happiness and fulfillment the Lord intended for you and has planted in your heart.
My Administrative Assistant quickly grew to be far more than that. Soon, because of her talent, experience, all around fabulousness and positive attitude, her responsibilities grew until she basically ran our "front office". Scheduling appointments, talking encouragingly with people experiencing every kind of "disorder" you can imagine, doing all the Accounts Payable and Receivable, working with health insurance companies in billing and claim follow-up, payroll, transcribing notes she'd take at our weekly staff meetings and working closely with me, the Director, Bonnie was a wonder. She even bought the coffee (from the agency's funds for this) and kept the waiting room and everyone on staff supplied with hard candies in our offices which reflected the seasons and holidays! It wasn't long before we became good friends, too.
Bonnie's talents and experience encompassed far more than many kinds of office/secretarial/accounting skills. She had also worked as a courier who routinely carried hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of diamonds and other precious gems to and from the jewelry district in Boston, worked with retail jewelers and was very involved in the world of wholesale jewelry to being in a partnership herself in this work. I learned many things from Bonnie!
Here's something perhaps a few women reading this may already know, but if you don't, it may well come in handy one day. Have you ever had a necklace chain so tangled with itself or other chains in your jewelry box that it seemed almost impossible to straighten out? This is the jeweler's solution. Place the tangled chain(s) on a flat surface and pick up two pins…one for each hand. Slowly work with the pins in the links of the knots in the chain(s) and before you know it…presto! No more knots, and what had been tangled and impossible is now usable again! I wouldn't have believed it unless I'd seen it, and now periodically repeat this maneuver myself.
Are there parts of your life which seem tangled in knots or as complicated as fine chains woven together so you can't tell one part from the other? Do you find yourself frustrated more easily, smiling less often, and your thoughts focused more on the things or people you have difficulty with? This is not the way God meant us to live and gets in the way of the purpose He created each of us for. And August is a perfect time to do something about it.
Even if you have no vacation time in August, everyone can still intentionally set aside even as little as a few minutes every day (hopefully a few times a day) to step outside yourself, to breathe deeply and refresh yourself to prepare and receive a new perspective. Now, you may be asking, WHEN??? Be creative with what you do. Un-multi task as many things as you can. Do one thing at a time, purposely, and enjoy the process. Look out the window at the changes in the sky, even if it's raining. Clear your head whenever you find yourself snarling up in critical, frustrated, negative thinking by picking a word that will help you stop. Sometimes people find the word *stop* a good place to begin with this. Remember that old saying you most likely learned at one time about "slowly count to ten instead of getting angry"? Well my friends, this works because it puts you back in control of your thoughts. You get to decide where to place your attention. Choose something you like, that brings you peace, that puts a smile on your face and warmth in your heart, and place your focus there. Take this time to pray a short prayer, to "have a little talk with Jesus" J
Learning to step outside ourselves helps us to become more clearly focused on the things which are most important. When we recognize that in life, "it's not about us", that our purpose here is for more than just an "I" centered life, or life focused on "me" or even "us" when that *us* is only a very few, we find life to be more deeply satisfying. We are able to extend to ourselves more grace even as we do so with others. Forgiveness and freedom for ourselves becomes more easy for us as we extend it more generously to others. This is a recipe for peace and happiness no matter your circumstances. It can be the beginning of a better quality of health as well as a better way of living.
In the blog of a Paramedic (Peter Canning) I recently read, I find this quote summarizes it well: "Any time you step out of your own life and get to see the world in a new way, it can't help but make you a better person ". This was written after volunteering 8 days in Gulfport, Mississippi immediately after Hurricane Katrina. Working in 100 degree weather, in the worst conditions imaginable and 12 hour shifts, he wrote a post entitled, "What's Important" and it was about the lives surrounding him during that time. What he could do, how much he could give, the amazing things he could share which he didn't even know mattered to others, all resulted in huge blessings to him.
August is a great time to prepare for the coming months ahead, when things ramp up everywhere and school begins again. Why not take this time to think about how you can "step out of your own life", in what ways you can offer your gifts and talents to bless others and discover new and deeper blessings in your own life as a result.
This month, let's get outside of ourselves remembering in life, "it's not about us" in order to be a blessing and as a result, to find more joy!
Remember elementary school? When I was in the fourth grade I was extremely quiet and shy, even though I was already very involved in music. As an adult I'm not especially proud of this story, but through the eyes of the shy fourth grade girl, what she witnessed every day at school, and the result of the action she took, I remember well that the young girl felt she ultimately didn't have a choice in the way she handled the situation. Something had to be done.
Every day at recess, all the grades one – six were outside at the same time. There were clusters of some of the older kids playing games, some younger children playing with others, and all the teachers enjoyed their outside time talking together off to the side while the kids did whatever they may. But then there was Steven Smith (name changed to protect the guilty). He was a cocky sixth grade bully who every day culled out some first or second grade kid, stole their lunch money and beat them up. I would generally sit quietly by myself writing and watching this while wishing, hoping, and praying that SOMEBODY would do something about it. That a teacher, someone who was SUPPOSED to take care of this, would do just that. But week after week the same thing took place. Although I was never a victim because he only picked on those who were smaller, one day something in me could take it no more and I must have snapped. The next thing I knew my coat was on the ground, Steven was on the ground and I was on top of him, fully sitting astride him and pummeling his chest as hard as my fists could pound, yelling all the while "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" with each slam of my fisted hand against his chest. Surprised? I was, too. But what surprised me even more was that I didn't get in trouble (with teachers, the principal or my parents) and thankful that there was no more beating up of the little kids by anyone. It was my one and only physical fight, thank goodness.
But bullying doesn't stop in elementary school. It's everywhere, even in the church. Oh it's a different kind of bullying with adults. There isn't any lunch money stealing, but people's dignity and spirits are wounded by being yelled at, insulted, spoken down to with meanness, hostility, sarcasm, belittling, condescending eye rolling, passive aggressive snide remarks and ugly insinuations. These things wound even worse than a badly blackened eye, even though it might be invisible. Contrary to that old adage, "words WILL hurt you". Schools have finally learned this through the tragic episodes of rampant student suicides as a result of bullying. My experience with it of late is I've been stunned that Christian adults would act this way and have been paralyzed while hoping SOMEHOW it would stop. Sadly, it has not.
These bullies are "equal opportunity" in their attacks as they're not limited just to adults, but to young people as well. I am as guilty as they are, as up to now I've been silent, other than discussing this privately in comforting other victims and trying to encourage them to come back…that it will be different, to become involved again. But really, who am I kidding. Unless everyone steps up and addresses rude, mean, insulting, inflammatory or condescending behavior, then why WOULD anyone who's left to escape it (either by not participating on committees or literally not coming to church) come back? .
My friends, in silence and continued excuses about this we have abdicated our responsibility to one another and to the young people in our church. Other eyes (many much younger) are watching and perhaps thinking this is the appropriate way to treat one another. God is watching too. A culture of bullying will suck any joy of the Lord out of anybody or anyplace. Especially a church! We must challenge ourselves to be responsible instead of looking the other way, letting things slide which are wrong, no longer continuing to do nothing, allowing situations to further degrade. We can no longer sit idly by or perhaps worse, by taking the *easy* route of stepping away to avoid it altogether. As Christian adults in a Christian organization, which also models behavior for children, we must be accountable to no longer allowing others to be hurt (including ourselves) by a culture of bullying. See what I mean? This is not an easy subject, but is one that's been crying out to be addressed for some time. My sense of urgency about this has been fermenting by observing more and more people being hurt by others as well as by those who do not say "No"…."This is wrong". I KNOW this is a hard thing to do for those who've been bullied for a long time into complacency or even worse, into leaving. We need to regain our inner sense of our own power of what we will and will not accept both for ourselves, other adults and children. It really is not that hard to say, "In all due respect, that's uncalled for", or "I refuse to be spoken to that way, please change your tone". What's the worst thing which might happen? You might be spoken to rudely? Why, that's already happening now! What's the best thing? That it will stop and joy will flood through our church as brightly as the sun streams through our brilliant stained glass windows. Every moment presents us with a choice. Which one will you take? As your armor, why not pick up Matt. 7:12 "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the law and the prophets."
Much will be written about Michael Jackson…pros, cons, revival of more speculation and lurid gossip, replay of highly publicized sad events, old news items and more which became what people thought of when this man's name has been mentioned over the past several years. No one really knows what is true except perhaps close family members. It is clear though, Michael Jackson became a very troubled person as time went on. The pressure of incredible success beginning in early childhood and the conflicting advice, voices of powerful people trying to shape a young person in order for the most lucrative profit of everyone involved, can have a profoundly staggering effect on someone who is sensitive and brilliantly creative and whose own identity is not even as yet fully formed. It is so easy to pass judgment based on sound bytes, crazy out-of-context photos and lurid half-stories which seem to sell the most newspaper/magazines etc. Again, no one really knows what was real and what was not except possibly close family members.
But what is magnificently true is that Michael Jackson's amazing creativity ranked with Mozart of his generation and the Beatles of theirs and how he (along with his musical influences and producer Quincy Jones) has forever impacted and shaped American music. Even if his singing or performance style is not to your particular taste, so very many of the melodies and harmonies of his music are beautiful. Those who disliked the Beatles' music, when hearing arrangements of their songs played by string quartets and other instrumental and vocal arrangements, learned that their musical integrity stands up not only to time, but also the ability to be transformed into different genres which have universal appeal. Similarly, Michael Jackson's tremendous range of musical creativity has and will continue to do the same long after his passing.
Instead of focusing on the wildly fantastical stories of his later adult years, I hope people instead will take a moment to think prayerfully of Michael Jackson's children in their profound loss. People die every day and whether or not they are "famous", they are somebody's child, brother, sister, husband, wife, mother or father. For a little while the *news* stories of Michael Jackson's life and death as well as memorials will splash throughout the media, eclipsing greater ongoing tragic events throughout our country and the world. I hope we can put this in a proper context with the wider picture, feel compassion for his children and family, and move forward.
Although I, too, had a hard time finding music of his which I enjoyed as Michael Jackson's musical style evolved beyond the harmonies and rhythms of his younger years, every once and a while there'd be a song which would be a real WOW to me. I'd like to share with you a song of his which has been set into a video and personifies the meaning of the music. To me, it's one of those *wow* songs, both in the music and the meaning. While I've embedded this music video below in this post, let me briefly quote from the chorus of this song, "Man in the Mirror":
" I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change"
It's like a mini motivating semonette, don't you think? I believe it deserves an "Amen". I hope you enjoy it!
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